Split!
by nogardikust
Summary: When Edward attepmts a new transmutation he doesn't get the results he's hoping for. Instead his personality is Split. Literatlly! How will Roy be able to handle what Edward has done? Slight EdxRoy
1. Chapter 1

**Okies, another Fma fic!! Hooray!! Anyways I don't exactly remember where I got this idea from but I knew that I wanted to write something about this idea. So here you go. Split! chapter 1. I hope you all enjoy it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fma... yada yada yada...**

**Review Please!!**

Ch 1 Split!

It was a normal day… err it was as normal as it ever could be at the military headquarters in Central. Roy was busy avoiding paperwork; Hawkeye was nagging him to finish the paperwork, and the rest of Roy's subordinates well… were just sitting around the long table doing nothing. It was quite a boring day and what do you know it started raining.

'Oh joy...' Roy thought. It was bad enough that everyone was cramped into his office doing nothing… but now it started raining, and Roy hated the rain… he glanced over at his subordinates. Havoc was smoking… yet another cigarette, Furey was busy reading something, Fallman was also reading and Breda was busy trying to stay away from Black Hayate. Roy sighed as he glanced at the stack of paperwork that was sitting right in front of his face. He looked at the papers… that stack had to contain nearly forty… no fifty papers that all had attached files to them containing pictures, and various other papers that no one never even needed. Why were there so many damned files that no one even cared about? Hell I don't even look at half of the papers. Which I probably should… but… that's not the point! I wonder what Edward is doing now… I think I will go check up on him. I- Roy quickly came back to reality after Riza had tapped him on his shoulder.

"Colonel… You need to stop spacing out."

"I was doing no such thing."

"We all know that you like to space out when I am hounding you for paperwork."

"She's right boss." Havoc said with a laugh.

"Colonel, all of these papers need to be done by today."

"Fine… I'll get to it eventually." Roy said with a sigh. He stood up from his desk and walked over to the door. Looking back at everyone he said,

"I am going out for a bit. I will be back later." Roy grabbed his dark blue jacket and began to put his arm in the sleeve. He heard Riza say something but he tuned her out because he didn't feel like listening to her badger him about paperwork. He lifted his hand in the air and waved a quick goodbye wave and left his office.

"He didn't hear a word I said did he?"

The group nodded in unison as Havoc said "Nope." He took another drag on his cigarette and sighed. Riza shook her head as she sat down in Roy's chair. She grabbed a pen and began going through the paperwork. 'It's never going to get done if I keep waiting for Roy to do it…' she thought.

* * *

"No Ed!!" Alphonse yelled as his brother clapped his hands as blue light was seen coming from the young alchemists hands as he attempted a transmutation.

Of course Ed didn't listen to Al. He usually just ignores people when they tell him no, because in Edward's mind No isn't an answer, neither is You Can't, or Stop Shrimp! … Okay well maybe that last one, but still once Ed had something he set his mind on he was going to do it. Alphonse usually went along with it. He knew telling his brother no wouldn't have any affect. This time Al really wanted Ed to stop, but as usual Ed didn't listen. The blue light quickly faded away. Alphonse watched as smoke engulfed where his brother was standing.

"Ed…?" Al called out. This transmutation… was some new weird one that Edward had been reading about. Al wasn't even sure about it. Ed was keeping it all hush hush and wouldn't tell Al anything. Every time Al would peer over Ed's shoulder He would quickly slam his book shut and cover all of his research notes. Of course Al was curious. Who wouldn't be? But this transmutation seemed weird. Al was watching his brother draw the transmutation circles on the ground and he noticed that Ed didn't draw one circle but he drew two and they overlapped each other. They also had a huge triangle connecting both of the min the middle where they overlapped. Al wasn't sure he's seen one of these circles before… but he just guessed he should trust his brother. After all he is the Fullmetal Alchemist. (That doesn't really mean much to Al but…) Al sighed and waited for his brother to respond. He could see Ed's figure standing amongst the smoke.

"Ed, so did your transmutation work?" Al asked.

Ed slowly turned around and walked out of the smoke. His head was hanging low. He walked over to Al and stopped.

"Ed? Are you alright?"

"Al…" Edward looked up as he brought his arms up to his chest and clenched his fists. His eyes were opened wide and had tears forming inside of them. "IT"S ALL RUINED!!" Edward cried.

"What's all ruined? What did yo-?"

"OH ALPHONSE!! I RUINED THE PERFECT TRANSMUTATION!!!" Ed was sobbing; tears were now streaming down his face.

Al had no idea what to make of this. Ed had never gotten so upset about a transmutation before. It's like this was some one different.

"I..I'm sorry brother… I-"

"No Alphonse!! There is nothing you can do to help!! Saying things will only make it worse!!" Edward said as he ran out of the room crying.

Al was confused… Ed had never acted this strange… Well he has acted strange before but this is the strangest that Al has ever seen him act. Al sighed and went after Ed. He didn't know what he could do but… he wanted to know what was so upsetting.

* * *

Roy didn't know why he put on his jacket. He wasn't going outside or anything. Not In the rain anyways. Plus the brother's room was inside the military dorms. So there was no need for the jacket… 'Damn this is pathetic… I have no life if I am thinking about my jacket…' Roy thought. He walked down the hallway towards the Elric's room. He watched the door fly open and Edward walk out.

'At least talking to Ed will make for some interesting conversation.' Roy thought as he smiled and waved calling out Ed's name.

"Ed!"

The blonde boy turned around and looked at Roy. He started walking towards him.

"I see that this rain has you cooped up inside as well. Too bad… maybe some watering is what you need to make you grow taller." Roy said with a laugh. 'This will make him angry'

Ed neared the older man and looked at him. He smirked as he took his hand and grabbed Roy's chin.

"What the hell? Let go of my chin…" Roy said. He couldn't figure out why Edward was holding on to his chin and wasn't reacting to his comment. Ed would always react. Even to the slightest of comments. But this time… he didn't say anything. He just grabbed Roy by his chin… which was weird.

"Shhh." Ed said as he took his right hand and placed a finger up to Roy's lips. Ed took his left hand the hand that he used to grab Roy's chin and pushed him up against the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" Roy said angrily.

"What am I doing? Why I am checking you out of course…" Edward replied as he continued to closely examine Roy's facial features.

"What…? You're not serious?" Roy said even more confused. Just what the hell was Ed trying to pull? Checking Roy out? At this point Roy was beginning to become uncomfortable, because Edward had moved in closer to the older mans face. They were nearly touching noses.

"You know what Colonel… I like you. And right this very moment I _want _you…" Edward said as he leaned in and attempted to kiss Roy. Roy quickly pushed Edward away from him and said angrily,

"Look, I have no idea what you are trying to pull but it's not funny. So just stop it already with you pretending to like me and stuff… It's creepy…"

"Oh silly silly Colonel… Who said I was pretending…" Edward said slyly. Ed cornered Roy once more and was just about to plant a kiss on him when Roy heard Alphonse's voice.

"Brother!! Come back!! Please don't cry!"

Roy's eyes widened as he watched Edward run out of the dorm room with Alphonse following behind. Edward ran past Roy up the hallway and Al continued chasing him until he came upon another Ed who had Roy cornered up against a wall. Al stopped and gasped.

"If that was Ed running up the hallway… then who is th-"

"He didn't…"

"Oh my god Al, there is TWO EDWARDS??!!"

**Review Please!!**

**Plot Twist!! I bet you didn't see that comming!! **

**Hope you all enjoyed the first capter of Split!**

**See you all in Chapter 2!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi All! Here is chapter 2 of Split!! I hope you all enjoy it!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own fma... yada...yada...yada**

Ch 2 Split!

Bursting through his office door Roy lifted his arm up and pointed his finger out into the hallway motioning for his subordinates to leave. But as usual no one was paying attention to him. (No one pays attention anyways. Well except for Riza… but that's because she _has_ to baby sit the Colonel. Hey someone's gotta do it.) Riza glanced up at Roy. She sighed and then went back to finishing up _his_ paperwork.

Roy saw that his motion wasn't enough to get everyone out of his room. He sighed.

"Out!! Everyone out right now!" Roy yelled still pointing his finger.

"Colonel, what's the problem?" Riza asked putting down her pen.

"There's no problem, just everyone out!"

"Come on, there must be a reason." Havoc said.

"If you all don't get out now I'll…" Roy took his extended arm and readied his fingers in the snapping position. Everyone's eyes widened. (Except Riza… she's used to this from Roy) They all knew that he wouldn't hesitate to set the room on fire.

"Three… Two… On-"

That's all Roy needed to say. Everyone was up out of their chairs and running out of the doorway. They didn't want to experience Roy's fire alchemy. Riza's the only one who remained. She wasn't afraid of his alchemy. She could kick his ass any day, so why be afraid of someone you can beat? Roy glared at Riza. She sighed again and slowly got up out of the chair and walked over to Roy.

"Colonel, if this is some ridiculous scheme to get out of finishing your paper work it's not working… Well on me at least."

"That's nice to hear Hawkeye. I am sure that you can find something to occupy your time with. Now get out!" Roy said as he pushed Riza outside into the hallway and slammed the door.

"That man… I swear." Riza mumbled. Great, now the paperwork would be late again… What was so important that he needed to kick everyone out his office? It was probably something stupid. Ah well… just in case Roy's reason was important Riza wanted to know what was going on. She walked down the hallway a little ways and turned to her right entering a small corridor that she could easily hide behind. Now she would know if Roy was just being a pain or if it was some legit reason.

* * *

Roy sighed. He ran his hand through his uneven black hair and waited. He couldn't believe what was going on. It must be the end of the world. There were now two Edward's running about. Perfect! One was hard enough to get under control, now there were two and they both had different personalities. Great. Just Great. 

"This is just want I needed to make my day."

Roy glanced out his office window. And great it's still raining.

"Damn it… why do these things always have to happen to me…"

Roy heard a knock at his door. He opened it and saw Alphonse standing there holding a crying Edward. Roy let Al in and shut the door. After making sure no one was in the hallways.

"Well, where's the other one?" Roy asked noticing that there was only one Ed.

"You see… After he let go of you he ran off. I almost had him but he used alchemy and got away."

"Great, they both can do alchemy. That's just what we needed. One very sentimental over emotional Edward, and another one who is downright insane running about doing alchemy. Perfect"

"I'm sorry Colonel. I don't know where he went."

"Well we better find him. I'll go look for him. You can… er…" Roy paused looking at this Ed who was on his knees bawling his eyes out.

"Uh… why is he still crying?"

"Because the other Ed called him a name…" Al mumbled.

"What was it? Shrimp?" Roy said with a chuckle.

"WHAHAHAHAH SHRIMP!!! HE CALLED ME SHRIMPPPP!!! I AM NOT A SHRIMPPPPP!!! AL, I'M NOT A SHRIMP AM I??!!" Ed cried as he grabbed on to Al's leg.

"Er… no brother… or should I say Ed 1… I mean you're a bit short but…"

"WHAAHAHAH SO I AM A SHRIMP!!!"

"… Um well Al you try to calm him down… I'll go find the other one." Roy said as he quickly left his office.

"Geeze, now where could this other Ed be?"

* * *

Riza who was still hiding behind the wall got very well was very sleepy. She was bored waiting for something to happen. But nothing did. In the first five minutes at least. So she closed her eyes and took a little rest… which turned into a nap. 

"Oh lookie, what do I have here?" Riza slowly opened her eyes to notice Ed kneeling down next to her looking at her face intently. Surprised by Edward Riza jumped a little bit.

"Did I scare you?" Ed asked.

"No, you just surprised me. I didn't expect you to be hovering over me."

"Ah, well that's good that I didn't scare you. So, you have pretty eyes lady… too bad your not my taste." Ed slyly said.

"What? Edward that is very innapr-"

"Shh," Ed said as he put a finger up to her mouth.

Riza grabbed Ed's wrist and pushed it toward the ground.

"That's quite enough. I have no idea what has gotten into you but…-"

"Ah well, as I said your not my taste. I don't like nagging women… actually I don't like you at all!" Ed remarked.

"Why you I-"

Edward smiled slyly as Riza was about to slap him across his face. He quickly grabbed her hand and held it tight.

"What I do like about you though is your feisty… I just wish that Ro-"

"Edward damn it where are you!?" Roy yelled as he neared the small hallway corridor.

"Oh it's Roy!" Edward quickly got up and started making another remark about Riza. She was to angry to hear it though. She did notice however when Roy turned the corner that Edward pounced on him and pushed him up against the wall. Ed put his finger up to Roy's lips just like what he had done to Riza. Roy who was pissed noticed Riza sitting on the ground. Roy gasped hoping that this Ed didn't try anything or say anything funny...

"Did he do anything to you?" Roy managed to say after pulling Edward's hand away from his mouth.

"He just insulted me to the point that I was going to beat him."

"That's all? Well that's a relief. Good work Hawkeye, finding Edward. I knew you would be the perfect decoy."

'Damn... this kid. If Riza find's out about this...' Roy thought. He knew he shouldn't of said what he just did but he just blurted out whatever came to his mind...Whic hwas not a good thing.

"What did you say?"

"Uh... nothing at all Hawkeye...Come on Ed, you need to come into my office… now." Roy said angrily as he quickly changed the subject. he knew he was going to hear about this. Roy pulled Edward by the wrist and dragged him down the hallway into his office. Before Ed left Riza he blew her a kiss and smiled a smile that Riza had never seen on him before.

Riza was confused. She knew that something was up. That wasn't the way Ed normally acted. And that certainly wasn't the way… wait… no Roy usually acted that way. Riza wanted to find out what exactly was going on.

She wasn't going to forgive Roy for that comment though…

**Review please!!**

**Things are starting to get interesting! Hope you all enjoyed chapter 2!!**

**What will happen next?**

**See you all in Chapter 3!!! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi Everyone! Ch 3 of Split is here! I hope you all enjoy it!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fma... yada yada yada... **

Ch 3 Split!

"So Sexy… Why are you forcing me into your offic…. Oh I get it now." Edward said cunningly as he pushed Roy (yet again) up against his office wall.

"Get off me, and go sit down…" Roy said pushing this Ed off of him and toward the chair.

"Ah I see… you like it rough…"

"Chair… NOW!" Roy yelled getting frustrated, as he pointed his finger.

"Alright, Alright…" Ed said as he walked slowly towards the chair. He turned back around and looked at Roy. He gave him a little wink and blew him a kiss. Roy sighed as Al entered with the crying Edward. Al comforted him all the way to his chair, which was right next to the other Ed's. Roy walked over toward Al and whispered to him.

"Uh… so how are we going to tell them apart?" Roy asked.

"Oh… um… how about we call them Ed 1 and Ed 2!"

"But which one is which?"

"How about the crying one… Ed 1, and the er… what would you even call the other one…? Ed 2…" Al replied.

"So… now that we have you both here and I can finally identify you, I would like to know what the hell is going on." Roy said sternly as he slammed his fists on his desk. He looked at both of the Edwards, sitting right next to each other. Edward 1 was still crying, and Edward 2 was attempting to comfort…er actually was making matters worse for Edward 1. Edward 2 was holding Edward 1's chin in his hand and was looking at him intently.

"You know… that no one likes a cry baby." Edward 2 whispered in Edward 1's ear.

"… I AM NOT!!!" Edward 1 yelled as more tears fell from his eyes. Edward 2 laughed as he turned his attention back to Roy who was now staring at him.

"Ah Colonel… Like what you see? I have to say that I am loving what I am seeing right now… A tall, built, military man… Just my type…" Ed 2 said. Some how through his little speech there Ed 2 had one knee on Roy's desk and was pulling him forward by his blue military collar.

"You know… I want you now… How about we…" Ed 2 leaned in for a kiss but failed when Roy pulled away from his face. At that moment Alphonse grabbed Ed 2 and sat him back down in his chair. Al restrained him with some sort of alchemy restraints, that Ed 2 could probably get out of. He struggled but stopped when Roy gave him a proposition.

"If you just sit there behave, and tell me what I need to know I'll do something for you…"

"What is that something…?"

"I'll let you kis-"

"I can kiss you!?"

"On the cheek. A tiny little peck. Okay?"

"Fair enough. I'll get you on the lips don't worry…"

"Yea, okay… As for you… how can I get you to stop crying?"

"I-I… want t-to k-kiss you too…" Ed 1 mumbled through sniffles…

"…You like me too?"

"… A-a little…" Ed 1 said now starting to blush a bit.

"Fine… you can kiss me too…" Roy sighed. Not only does the horny Ed like him, the emotional one does too. Roy knew that he needed to give in… (If it was only a little kiss…) To get what he wanted. First off if these two Ed's liked him does that mean that when they get back to being one Ed he likes him? Roy shuddered at the thought. Anyways, he needed to find out why this happened, and how Edward ended up in two totally different people.

"No Fair!!! You can't kiss him!! He's mine!!" Ed 2 yelled at Ed 1.

"N-No… I can like him too if I want…" Ed 1 mumbled as tears began to form in his eyes again.

"If you continue arguing no one is going to get anything…" Roy said annoyed.

The two Ed's looked at each other and decided to listen to what Roy had to say. If not then they wouldn't get their kiss. (That is what they have been waiting for.)

"So… now that were through with that. Start talking. I want to know what happened and why there are two Edward's instead of one."

"Ah, it's simple." Ed 2 replied.

"There was this clone alchemy… er you could say, and I was researching it and wanted to do it cause it looked cool." Edward 2 said with a smile.

"That's not all completely true…" Ed 1 said.

"Well would you like to explain?" Roy asked.

"Well… half of what he is saying is true… There is this clone alchemy or whatever, and I was researching it because I wanted there to be another me to help look for the stone and continue researching on ways to get Al's body back…" Ed 1 said as he looked at Al.

'Well he's not a total crybaby… He's actually smart.' Roy thought after hearing what Ed 1 had to say. It seemed that Edward's personalities were split in two. In Ed 1 were his emotional feelings, and his brains, and in Ed 2 was well… (Apparently Ed has an angsty horny side that no one has ever seen,) has his unbelievable angsty emotions, and the skills to act and speak before thinking. Oh this day was just turning out better and better…

"Is this all true?" Roy asked the two Ed's.

"Yes, for the most part…" They replied in unison.

"What do you mean for the most part?"

"Ah my dear Colonel… you will find that out after I kiss you…" Ed 2 said as he clapped his hands releasing himself from the restraints that Al used.

"No Fair I'm first!" Ed 1 Said as he too got up out of his chair.

"Oh great…"

* * *

"So you finally decided to join us huh? I figured it wouldn't take too much longer. I have to admit you are a hard one to crack."

"Yes… something just made my mind click… I figured what better way to get what I want than to join up with you guys."

"You are correct. And you shall indeed get what you have been searching for…."

**Review Please!!!**

**I hope you all enjoyed ch 3!! **

**What awaits our two Ed's? Await and see in the next chapter of Split!**

**See yo uall in Chapter 4!**


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